Apocalypse Mexico

Today I had the first mildly fearful day in Mexico City, but it wasn't quite related to the swine flu. I did yoga this afternoon around 10:30, a noble task I hadn't bothered to do for the past three weeks. I felt tired and hard-worked afterward and sat down on the couch to - what else- gchat. Then the room started gyrating, and I felt the couch pulsing. I was mostly convinced it was extreme fatigue from being out of shape, so I moved to a more sturdy chair at the dinner table. But the room kept throbbing, and the doors and windows began to slam open and shut. It lasted for a bit more than a minute, long enough for me to realize it wasn't all in my head.

Turns out while I was happily getting buff in my 9th floor apartment, a 6.0 magnitude earthquake struck in the nearby state of Guerrero, about 150 miles from Mexico City. I haven't heard of any damage to the city or deaths caused by the rumble, which is great, but the incident certainly shook me up for a while. Especially because about two minutes after the shakedown I got a nosebleed, which made me half expect to see an alien spaceship encroaching on the skyline á la any movie starring Will Smith. I was desperate to get off the 9th floor, but also incredibly stinky, so in a jolted, panicked rush I showered, cleaned up and fled the apartment (though I took the elevator down, so maybe I'm just exaggerating for dramatic blogger effect).

Feeling more vulnerable than usual, I snagged a free surgical mask at the register of a Sanborn's pharmacy/bookstore as I forked over 180 pesos for a copy of Twilight in English (free poster included inside!). I had to restrict my reading this evening after quickly devouring the first half, which I like to think is more a coping mechanism to the Mexican Apocalypse and not an indicator that I might still actually be 13.

Speaking of overreacting, a lot of non-nationals here seem to be taking this swine flu thing to the extreme. I can assure you that the images you see on any news channel or in the papers are more than just a bit blown out of proportion. Rumors are circulating intensely, and it's hard to assess what's actually happening and what's all just a bit of fear-mongering. A primary example is the fact that a lot of French exchange students are fleeing in droves following the desperate pleas of their families back home. Granted, the EU did just issue a travel advisory against flying to Mexico, but no one has said anything yet about evacuating. I guess they're mostly afraid the borders will close and they'll be trapped inside. My English roomie Drew has been asked by his university back home to avoid traveling until after May 21. I figure it's already hit Ohio, so I'll be fine to go home whenever I please.

So, to anyone out there who is scared of the swine flu, let me just suggest that you pick up a copy of Twilight and indulge in the wonderful, mystical, frightening world of vampires. It's all make-believe anyway.

I hope it comes to this

This will also go great with my 5-piece Louis Vuitton luggage set. Hopefully they make driving gloves to complement the ensemble and to keep my mitts off nasty metro handrails. Earmuffs? Foot booties? Give me all!!!

Victory!

In case you haven't heard, today The News confirmed that my part-time reporting position has been approved and authorized by the higher-ups!

The TV tells me school is canceled until May 6 due to swine flu, which I have yet to confirm with my preschool but am hoping is true. Anyway, the paper and I will use this week to fill out paperwork and figure out the guidelines of my position. As of now, I'll be starting the week of May 4, balancing 32 hours of journalism with 20 hours of "aaaaaapple" and "oooooorange."

I'll be earning 80 percent of a full-time salary (which I think comes out to 14,400 pesos/month, which I think means you should laugh in my face). The editor-in-chief says it's his vision that this part-time gig evolves into a full-time position once I'm done teaching (read: dancing around in an apron).

Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes that have helped me along the way, and 'nice try' to everyone who has been poking fro-topped voodoo dolls and working against me (no one actually does that, right?).

Take care, and remember, wear your swine flu mask!!

Mexican swine flu outbreak

(NY Times)

I find it ironic that on the same day I posted the below story on great vegetarian eats in Mexico City, the city government has canceled school and other events due to a massive swine flu outbreak that the NY Times reports has already killed more than 16 people. Now's probably not the best time to gloat, and even if I did, the flu has taken on a human-to-human capacity, so we're all equally screwed. It sounds really scary - and maybe it is - but I'm not too particularly worried. I'll keep on making out with random strangers in crowded public spaces like the metro regardless.

Read stories here for more info:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/25/world/americas/25mexico.html?_r=1&hp

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fgw-mexico-flu25-2009apr25,0,7532211.story

UPDATE: The consensus is that influenza jokes are funny across the board, and that watching people eat and talk on cell phones while wearing surgical masks is highly comical. I also like to think that not being Mexican grants me immediate immunity from the swine flu - which is probably why I'll catch it in the next couple days.

Vegetarianism & The City

Ok, so I didn't write this story for The News, the freelance food writer did. However, I thought to highlight some anecdotes just to show what being vegetarian in DF is like.


Eating vegetarian in the city

BY NICHOLAS GILMAN
Special to The News

Being a vegetarian in Mexico is no easy task - we're deeply entrenched in a meat-loving culture. Mexico City's air plays host to competing breezes from smoke-belching cars and simmering pork shanks. You can't escape it.

While most streets in Mexico City seem to host one "tacos de cabeza" stand or an Argentine parilla, the pleasant surprise is that there are many meatless options in the city....

Two types of strictly vegetarian restaurants exist. The first is the old style "regular-food-but-hold-the-beef" type places, some of which have been around longer than Gayelord Hauser. Then there are the hipster health joints, recent arrivals, the "California stickers still on their luggage.

I have tried several of both. I found vegetarian versions of Mexican classic dishes, new age "faux-meat" concoctions, and lots of plain boiled vegetables and fresh salad....

U.S. concepts of what is and isn't vegetarian may be unfamiliar here. I've ordered "vegetarian pozole" and been served broth made with pork stock, but without the addition of shredded meat. Likewise, "dairy-free" is not a common concept, nor is total veganism. So if you adhere to these diets, you have to explain your needs carefully....

For those who eat fish, there are no end of good seafood places. And the street food scene can be veg-friendly: just find any quesadilla or gordita stand. Many "tacos de guisado" places offer vegetable or egg fillings (be sure to ask if they are augmented by ham or sausage)....

At the top of the list of contemporary, American-style, organic food restaurants is Origenes Orgánicos, in the heart of La Condesa, and its sister venue Eco-Bistrot in Polanco. .... I liked the "Thai" salad (although their geography is confused - there's nothing Thai about yogurt, cucumbers and ginger)....

So even if you crave "tacos al pastor," or salivate at the thought of a juicy steak, eating vegetarian in the city is perfectly doable. And it never hurt anyone to eat vegetarian every once in awhile.

The Birds & The Bees

The first day back to preschool post-Easter vacation, my basement English classroom was transformed into a party room for a baby and bridal shower (not for the same woman, ha). By the way, the phrase in Spanish for 'bridal shower' is 'despedida de soltera.' The phrase for 'baby shower' in Spanish is 'baby shower.'

After five hours of dancing spastically and pulling borderline-abusive wrestling moves on small children, I sat next to my colleagues on midget chairs as they talked about breastfeeding/in-law horror stories, me understanding most of their rapid, enthusiastic Spanish and laughing when I saw everyone else laughing. The mix of me having no such stories to contribute nor the desire to try to tell them in Spanish left more time for me to eat the delicious chocolate cake and tuna empanadas.

Another fun experience I shared with my colleagues and the school administrator was making phallic banana sculptures. Of course these women-oriented events always devolve into sexual and/or perverted discussions, but normally this happens with people from whom I don't receive my paycheck. Anyway, they passed around a basket of bananas, and we were meant to make the best "sculpture" with our teeth. I mostly understood the rules but felt insanely awkward, so I bit polka dots. Nobody laughed when it was my turn to show my work, and they didn't laugh when I explained it was an 'enfermedad sexual.' However, we did manage to put down three bottles of wine by 5 p.m., though there was like 15 of us so I guess it's not that impressive. We couldn't find a bottle opener, so one of the teachers used a pen to push the cork back into the bottle, using my apron to cover any resulting splashes. I finally got a group laugh when, after I revealed that they were indeed using my apron, that wine is better than the food and snot already crusting over on the denim shield.

I like to think bonding moments like this can erase in their minds my inability to teach.